Inarticulate speech of the heart
by Rach CD McKenzie
Summary: Events with Lucas' HCM reach a climax how will everyone around him react when they realise he has been keeping his condition a secret all of this time...
1. Prologue

A/N Okay this idea has been floating around in my empty head for a few days so I thought I'd have a go at actually getting it down. I haven't decided whether it will be a Brucas or a Leyton yet so I will leave it up to you, you the people will have to vote and decide because I am partial to both pairings. So this is just the prologue and the rest will begin soon! I hope you enjoy it and it will all be explained soon enough so please review as this is my first OTH fic! Thanks

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Lucas felt the warmth of the stiff orange plastic beneath his fingers, the familiar tingle that shot through his hands as he dribbled the ball rhythmically across the court. The steady pounding of the ball against the shiny court surface and the screams and cheers from the crowd filled his ears as sweat poured from his flushed face. His body was so tired, each limb like lead as he dribbled furiously towards the goal. His heart was pounding, blood rushing in his ears, each rhythm sending shooting pains through his tight, constricting chest. With Each second that slowly passed his chest became tighter and tighter, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. He looked up ahead, sweat dripping into his eyes as his limbs grew heavier and his chest more painful, ahead was two defenders coming towards him. He turned to find Nathan standing to the side waving his arms and shouting his name his face still twisted in a satisfying smirk as he called for the ball. Lucas looked back and forth between them, the screaming around him growing louder, the ball still pounding up and down on the floor. He struggled to draw another breath his throat closing as his heart pounded, each beat full of agony. He raised the ball to throw it to Nathan when the pain sharpened sending waves of dizziness crashing over him, he stumbled his lead like legs giving way as he slipped downwards his vision greying, his heart still pounding until the court darkened in front of him. He faltered his legs crumpling beneath him as he fell to the shiny wooden floor, his head hit the floor with a dull thud and the screaming stopped. Silence fell over the court as the ball rolled slowly across the floor, stopping at Nathan's feet. Then the screaming started again…

* * *

Nathan watched as Lucas dribbled quickly up the court, skilfully. At least he wasn't playing like he did in practise, he thought as he followed him up the court watching at sweat poured from him but he continued onwards. He wasn't going to let this feud between him and Lucas stop him winning. He caught up with him easily, his path was blocked by two defenders, he needed to pass. Keeping his eyes on Lucas whose energy seemed to be fading fast he manoeuvred into a space and shouted for the ball. He scowled at his brother as their gazes locked and he could see something was wrong. Lucas prepared to throw the ball but he was stumbling, Nathan noticed for the first time how pale he was, the sweat pouring from him, the pain written across his face, the next thing he knew Lucas's eyes rolled back into his head, he stumbled back, legs giving way and collapsed the floor in a heap. Nathan watched, stunned, as the ball rolled slowly over to him stopping at his feet. He looked back up from the ball and over to his brother who was lying still on the floor, eyes closed. The cheers and shouts had died down to a hush and Whitey had run from the bleachers over to the court followed by Haley, Karen, Peyton and Brooke…Nathan swallowed hard looking around him, he couldn't stop replaying that conversation over and over…

_Why don't you just drop dead?_

He started to walk slowly forward numbly, his mind almost separated from his body as his legs carried him slowly forward. His head spinning and his heart hammering he broke into a run. He barged through the small crowd forming around the fallen teen and made his way to the front where Whitey and Karen were kneeling, Karen with Lucas' head between her legs, crying softly and Whitey leaning near Lucas' mouth listening for any breath sounds…there was an agonising few seconds in which Nathan didn't a hear a word spoken only fuzzy muffled sounds as he kept his gaze fixated on Lucas, the words replaying over and over, getting louder and louder..

_DROP DEAD_

"He's not breathing." Whitey said in a hushed voice…

Nathan looked down at his brother again and swallowed…he needed to take it back, he wasn't going to let him die on him now.

"Somebody call 911…"

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So...what did you think? I know it's kind of rushed and sketchy but it's just the prologue, the actual chapters will make more sense and be better written. I hope you like it, this is a taster of what is to come sort of! lol so please review, this is my first OTH fic and I would love to know what you think! Cheers guys!

Rach X


	2. The fall out

Omg guys, I was overwhelmed with your reviews! wow, thank you so much! This is my firstOTH fic and I am so glad you liked it! You made my week! Okay so there was an overwhelming majority vote for Brucas, sorry Leyton fans but XxAngelxX911gave me an idea, I think it would be appropriate for Lucas to be single for a while with everything going on but eventually there will be reunions so I will keep you guessing! But dnt worry there will be lots of romantic drama! Okay so this chapter was really hard to write but I hope you like! Enjoy!

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"Lucas please, this is ridiculous! You need to tell Whitey!" Haley pleaded jogging to catch up with Lucas's fast walking pace as he headed up to the gym, his bag slung over his shoulder casually whilst he looked straight ahead, trying to block out Haley's pleading comments. He knew she was right but he just couldn't do it, he needed to get her to understand!

"Or at least tell your Mom Luke, she deserves to know. You can't keep this a secret forever!" She said catching up with him and standing in front of him, forcing him to stop walking. He sighed and looked down into her desperate hazel eyes and his frown softened slightly as he looked away and up at the night sky.

"Hales…I can't burden her with this. Do you know how much this medication costs? She doesn't have that kind of money and I don't want her to worry more than she has to, especially with everything she has going on at the moment." He said bringing his gaze reluctantly back to his best friend's face as she shook her head.

"Luke listen to me okay, your mom should be worried. You have a heart condition, if she can't afford the medication how can you? You have a part time job at the café; you're at school most of the time. This is ridiculous; just tell her, she needs to know. She's your Mom Luke." She finished with a sigh, tears burning in the backs of her eyes. Lucas looked away guiltily unable to hold his friends gaze. She was right but…this was just so hard for him, she needed to understand. He had to put this in a way she would understand

"If I tell my mom, she'll tell Whitey. If Whitey knows about this I won't be able to play. I worked so hard to get onto this team and to fit in and it will all be gone over nothing. Basketball is my life Hales, it's my passion and I can't give it up. It's like asking you to never sing again…could you do it?" He asked seriously looking her in the eyes. She hesitated looking away defeatedly before turning back to him.

"You could die Luke." She whispered her voice cracking with emotion. She needed to get him to understand, to understand all of this wasn't worth losing him forever. He was her best friend and she needed him, she couldn't lose him. She had to make him understand.

Lucas swallowed hard blinking back tears of frustration as his heart hammered with anticipation. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes. He couldn't do this now, he would play this game and talk about this later.

"I'm not gonna die Haley. I'll play this game and I'll talk about this afterwards okay? I promise." He said taking her hand. She nodded numbly willing tears back as she watched him walk away from her and towards the gym…she just prayed that he would be okay.

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Luke pushed the door to the changing rooms open and stepped inside, the familiar smell of sweat and anticipation greeting him as he looked around. Nathan was in the corner with Tim and a few of the guys laughing, he looked up meeting Lucas' gaze with a cold glare which Lucas ignored, slinging his bag down and shrugging his jacket off his shoulders ignoring the snide comments he could hear Nathan making in the background. He sighed and pulled on his jersey ignoring the dull ache in his chest and the laughter from behind him. He felt someone shove into his shoulder and he stumbled into the lockers, banging his elbow hard against the metal. He spun around angrily to find Nathan standing there with a smirk on his face as Luke rubbed his elbow.

"What's your problem?" Lucas spat angrily squaring up to Nathan. Nathan paused before sneering at him.

"You are dumbass. I don't even know why you bothered showing up tonight, it's not like you'll be putting any points on the board is it?"

Lucas smiled slightly at his brother's comments showing he wasn't affected but he knew it was true, his game has suffered as a result of his medication, it made him sluggish and exhausted but that was why he hadn't taken any before tonight's game. He'd show Nathan how to play basketball.

"We'll see about that won't we?" Lucas said complacently whilst putting his jacket in his locker. Nathan scowled.

"Probably not, I wouldn't surprised if Whitey benched you after five minutes the way you've been playing. In fact the only reason you're still on this team is because you're his favourite. You wouldn't last 30 seconds if he wasn't coach."

"Well he is coach so shut up and get out of my face." Luke said angrily, usually he wouldn't bait Nathan he would just ignore him but he had had enough. Nathan grinned and took a step closer to Lucas.

"Make me." He whispered

Silence fell upon the dressing room as everyone watched in trepidation waiting to see who would make the first move…

"Or are you still crying over Brooke? You need a tissue?" Nathan sneered. That was it, Luke snapped. He slugged Nathan hard across the face, fire lancing through his knuckles. Nathan quickly responded with a quick punch that sent Luke stumbling back, Luke threw himself forward tackling Nathan to the ground. He managed to throw in a good few punches before Whitey came in yelling. He pulled Lucas off by his jersey and followed suit with Nathan who jerked free angrily, glaring at Lucas and wiping the blood from his mouth.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing? I've had enough of this, after this game you're suspended indefinitely. Don't even think about arguing, now I want none of this on the court or there will be trouble." He yelled gruffly, taking one last look at the pair of them before storming out leaving Nathan and Lucas catching their breath and glaring at each other. Luke felt his chest constricting tightly as he panted but he pushed it to the back of his mind as he concentrated on getting his breath back for the game.

"Nathan…" Lucas began but he was cut off abruptly.

" Don't even think about saying anything to me, we're done. Why don't you just drop dead? It would make everyone's lives easier." He spat before storming off leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts. He slowly sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands, his eye throbbing angrily with pain from the fight. He steadied his breathing and looked up. He tried to act like Nathan's comment didn't mean anything but it did, maybe everyone's lives would be better. Nathan hated him, Brooke obviously didn't want him, his mom was too busy for him…who else did he have? Basketball was the only thing he had left and even that could be taken away from him. He clenched his fists as his hands began to shake and took a deep breath. He would show Nathan, he wouldn't lose his game. He'd push through the pain.

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Whitey grinned as Lucas sank another shot clean through the net, boy the kid was playing well tonight. He had been worried about him in practice, he had been lagging but it looked like he was making up for it now. At least him and Nathan weren't fighting on the court again. He didn't understand what had happened between the two of them, before they had been almost best friends and suddenly things had gone back to the way they started…

Luke dribbled quickly up the court avoiding two defenders, faking back quickly before shooting, he watched the ball through the air before it hit nothing but net. He grinned as three more points went up on the board and the crowd screamed and cheered as he shot a smile towards a scowling Nathan. He was finally playing the way he used to, granted he was exhausted and his breathing harder but he put it down to the pills. He would make it through this game and then take them when he got home. He was running low, he only had two left and he didn't get paid until next week but he would manage. He always did. Wiping the sweat from his face with his jersey and struggling for another breath he got back into the game, dodging and weaving across the court skillfully.

Haley chewed on her nails nervously as she watched Lucas dribble up and down the court, he was playing well but still something didn't look right. He had to keep stopping for a breather and he looked exhausted but no one else seemed to notice, they only noticed him scoring points. She sighed, she hoped he would be okay…She glanced across at Karen who was smiling as she watched Lucas, blissfully unaware of what was really happening with her son. She should tell her, she needed to know but she knew that if she did Lucas would probably never talk to her again. She had promised him. She looked down and saw Brooke and Peyton cheering happily waving their pompoms as Nathan scored his second goal of the night. Her smile faded slightly as she watched Brooke. She didn't know how she felt about her right now, after what she did to Luke, she had broken his heart and over Chris of all people. She knew Brooke didn't mean to but still she had done it and she had really hurt Lucas. She sighed, everything was so messed up at the moment. Brooke and Lucas, her and Nathan…She just wanted everything to be okay again. She bought her gaze back to the game where the seconds were counting down to half time. Luke had the ball again and he was dribbling quickly across the court…but something was definitely wrong, even from the stands she could see how pale he was, he was sweating and his movements had become more sluggish. His path was blocked by two defenders and he turned to pass, her blood ran cold and it felt like a block of ice had settled in the pit of her stomach as she watched his legs falter, in slow motion she saw him fall to the ground, legs buckling, the ball slipping from his hand, his head hitting the floor. She leapt from her seat letting out a scream.

"Lucas!"

She felt Karen stand up next to her as she waited for Lucas to get up, for him to stand up like everything was fine…he just tripped…but he didn't get up. He wasn't moving. People were running over, players shouting to each other, the game grinding to a halt as Haley sprinted down the stands, closely followed by Karen and being met by Brooke and Peyton at the bottom. Haley stopped still when she saw Lucas, lying still, eyes closed and face pale.

This was her fault…she should have told Whitey, she should have told Karen…she shoudn't have listened to Lucas. And now he was lying there…

Karen rushed past her towards Luke and Whitey crouched down next to him. She could see Nathan walking slowly forward his expression blank and numb as he headed towards his brother…she couldn't believe this…

"He's not breathing." She heard someone say, her heart hammered faster and blood rushed in her ears as she gripped onto the bench to support herself. This wasn't happening, it had to be a dream…a nightmare. Her best friend wasn't breathing…he wasn't breathing she had to do something!

Brooke dropped her pompoms to the floor with a rustle as Lucas hit the floor, the sound of his head hitting the wood playing over and over making her feel sick. Tears burned in her eyes as she saw him lying there, still and silent…all she could think about was how much she loved him and how much he probably hated her. She needed him to be okay so she could tell him how much she loved him, she couldn't lose him, not now. Not like this. She needed him to know, he needed to know she feels…she needed him to forgive her. She latched onto Peyton who was watching in sick fascination as Whitey checked for a pulse…she pulled Brooke into a hug, letting her cry in her arms as she kept her gaze fixated on Lucas, the first boy she had ever really loved…she couldn't believe this was happening. What was wrong with him?

Dan watched from the sidelines as someone called 911. He swallowed keeping his face calm and neutral as people around him muttered and craned for a better look. He didn't know how he should feel, the boy was his son he was supposed to be worried but…he had betrayed him. He didn't feel sad or worried or angry just…neutral, numb. He knew Lucas couldn't afford his medication how could he? He wouldn't have told Karen, he knew that much. He wouldn't want to worry her. He should tell someone really, what was really wrong with him, but the boy needed to be taught a lesson. No one messes with Dan Scott and gets away with it. He thought with a smile before walking out of the gym leaving the crowds behind.

The paramedics came soon after and managed to disperse the crowds of players and cheerleaders to get to Lucas. Haley hung back uncertainly, she didn't know what to do. Should she tell the paramedics about his HCM? Would he be angry…better him angry at her than dead, she thought numbly before pushing forward to the paramedic who was strapping a mask to his face whilst the other was consoling a distraught Karen.

"Um Excuse me?" She said to the paramedic nervously, fighting back tears. The medic turned around

"There is something you should know, he uh…he had HCM." She said quietly hoping Karen wouldn't hear. The medic frowned and looked at his partner before nodding.

"Thanks, that should help us." He said with a smile before calling his partner away from Karen, Whitey taking over with comforting her.

"He'll be okay Karen, he's a strong kid. I'm sure whatever is wrong he will be okay." He said reassuringly. Karen nodded weakly, tears falling from her eyes as the paramedics lifted Luke onto a stretcher, still doing chest compressions, trying to get him breathe.

With each compression Nathan replayed his words over and over again Drop dead, how could he have said that. Now they were coming true, the last thing he had said to his brother was that he wanted him to die. He swallowed hard blinking back tears as he watched the medics struggle to get his brother to breathe…how could this have happened? What was wrong with him? When he noticed Luke was getting tired at practice and looking awful he should have said something, done something rather than use it against him, sure they weren't seeing eye to eye but they were still brothers…and he was a bad one. And now Lucas could be dying…

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A/n, So what did you think guys? I found this post really hard because of all the POVs so I couldn't put in a lot of detail but the next post will be probably focusing on one or two POVs at a time so that means detail and description! woooh so please review! Press the button! You know you want to

Next Time: Luke is taken to hospital and everyone finds out about his HCM, how will they react?


	3. Guilty

Thanks for the reviews guys! I really appreciate them, this is a multi-POV chapter and Lucas' HCM comes out...duh duh duh, so please r/r and I'll be a happy bunny, I hope you all had a great christmas. and This will be a Brucas but there may be some Leyton drama in there too for you Leyton fans so keep on reading!

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Haley closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands as another minute passed. She couldn't handle this, the waiting, watching the seconds tick slowly by and her still not knowing whether her best friend was okay. She couldn't handle listening to the small talk and Karen's soft sobs from the corner, she couldn't handle the guilt she felt in the pit of her stomach as everyone wondered what was wrong with Lucas, why this had happened whilst she sat there knowing exactly why this had happened. She wanted so much to just tell them, they needed to know but she had promised Luke and this was his responsibility. He had to tell them and face up to his actions and it wasn't her place to tell them. She wouldn't break her promise to him. She let out a long sigh and sat up leaning her head back against the whitewash walls whilst the hard plastic chair dug into her back. She surveyed the scene in front of her, Whitey was comforting Karen whilst Peyton and Brooke stood on the other side of the room both still in their cheerleading uniforms, comforting each other and Nathan stood alone opposite her, leaning back against the wall and his eyes cast downwards towards the floor. She looked at him for a few seconds her heart aching, she just wanted him not to hate her, for him not to hate Lucas. At least he had come. She knew he cared for Lucas even though things were strained between them at the moment, she knew when she had seen the fear in his eyes at the game when Lucas went down, she knew because of the way he looked right now. She loved him so much and all she wanted was for him to forgive her, she wanted him to be comforting her now like he used to. If only she had his strong arms around her then maybe the tears wouldn't be falling so fast. Maybe she wouldn't feel so alone. At least this year she had had Lucas, he was there for her when Nathan wasn't but now he was lying in hospital and he could be dying for all she knew, she had no one. She needed Lucas to be okay, she couldn't lose him. She had already lost Nathan and she couldn't lose someone else.

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Karen felt hot tears track down her cheeks as another sob escaped her, her whole frame shaking as she felt Whitey rub her back comfortingly. She willed herself to stop, to hold back the tears but no matter how hard she tried the tears just kept on flowing. She just couldn't help feeling guilty, she had been such a bad mother recently. First of all she had gone of to New Zealand leaving him all alone, then she had become so busy with the café and the mayor business that she hadn't been paying any attention to her son. She didn't know anything about what was going on in his life anymore. She didn't know if he had a girlfriend, how he was doing in school if he was happy or not. They used to know everything about each other's life, they used to talk but she had become too busy for her own son. She hadn't been there for him and now he was in hospital and nobody had a clue what was wrong with him…teenagers didn't just pass out and stop breathing if there wasn't something really wrong. She started to sob harder as she realized just how little attention she had paying to him, how bad a mother she had become. She was going to be there for him now 100, she was going to be the good mother she used to be and she would not push her child aside for business.

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Silence settled over the waiting room once more as Karen's crying quieted. Brooke sighed and wiped her eyes on the backs of her hand not caring that she was smudging half of her makeup. She couldn't believe this was happening. Every time she closed her eyes she could see him fall and every time she had that same feeling in her stomach. He had to be okay, he had to be. She needed him to know that she did love him and that everything with Chris was a mistake. She loved Lucas more than anything in the world but she was scared, she was scared of being hurt again and now she had hurt him and she felt terrible. She knew how much it hurt to be cheated on to do that to someone else knowing how much it hurt someone was awful. She just felt so guilty, Lucas wasn't talking to her and he had good reason to but if he wasn't going to be okay…if he didn't make it he wouldn't ever have the chance to forgive her. She loved him and she knew he once loved her and she wanted to make things work and she wanted him to be okay. She couldn't handle it if he wasn't ok.

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Peyton rested her hand on Brooke's trembling shoulders gently and swallowed hard blinking back the inevitable tears. She hated hospitals, always had done since her mom died and then Luke in his accident and now this. Nothing good ever happened in hospitals. She didn't know how to comfort Brooke she could feel her crying but she could barely hold herself together let alone offer comfort to someone else. She and Luke has gotten a lot closer over the summer and he had been there for her through the whole Ellie thing and now It was her turn to be there for him. He was her friend. She told herself but she still couldn't ignore the feeling she got whenever she saw him, the tingle…He understood her and she understood him but she would never act on her feelings for him, they would have to just stay feelings because she couldn't start that again, it hurt too many people. She would be his friend if that was what he needed and she would have to be satisfied. Jake had managed to take her mind off Lucas and she did love Jake but things were just never same, there wasn't the same passion, the same fire between them. She needed Luke to make it through this, he didn't deserve this. He was a good guy and she loved him and he had to be okay.

The door opened slowly and everyone looked up simultaneously as the doctor stepped into the room clutching a clipboard and surveying the crowd in front of him. Karen and Haley stood up whilst Nathan moved forward and Peyton removed her arm from Brooke's shoulder. Everyone watching and waiting.

"Are you here for Lucas Scott?" The young doctor asked looking around the room at the distraught bunch of people. Karen wiped her eyes and moved forward

"Yes I'm his mother, Is he okay? What's going on?" She asked quickly as the doctor sighed and looked down at his clipboard.

"Well Lucas is in a stable condition, it appears that he suffered heart failure due to a mild heart attack. We lost him a few times but we managed to get him stable. It appears there was too much stress put on his heart which caused the medication to stop working. It appears he hasn't been ordering his prescriptions lately which may be why this happened. There are two options now, one is changing the medication or the other is surgery." The doctor said pausing slightly before getting ready to continue but Karen cut him off confused.

"Sorry…um I don't understand, what medication? What are you talking about?" She asked voicing everyone else's thoughts as she stared at the doctor who balked slightly looking down at his notes clearly confused before looking back up at Karen nervously.

"Um his medication for his HCM, Beta-Blockers and Calcium Antagonists. The Beta-Blockers are what causes the fatigue. Didn't you know he had HCM?" The Doctor said nervously, turning red slightly. Karen swallowed hard images of the test results Lucas had showed her flashing through her mind, he had lied to her…but why?

"No." She whispered looking around the room to see if anyone else knew but they all looked just as blank whilst Haley stared at the floor.

"Well his father Mr. Scott was paying for his prescriptions by card each month but two months ago he withdrew from the payment plan and Lucas paid by cash until last month when he stopped checking in for re-fills." The doctor said as Nathan's expression changed

Dan knew, Dan was paying for his medication the whole time…he must have stopped when he found out about Lucas and now…and Lucas couldn't afford it by himself and now he was in hospital because of him. He felt anger surge through him and he clenched his fists tightly, he would make Dan pay for this. But first he had to deal with Lucas, he didn't know how to feel. He was upset because his brother was in this mess but he couldn't help but feel angry that Luke had lied to him, he had kept this a secret for so long. He had lied to everyone…

"Um well we can talk about this more later…A consultant will talk to you about Lucas' treatment." He said obviously eager to get out of the room.

"Can we see him?" Haley blurted out suddenly her voice trembling. The doctor looked up

"Yeah, He's being moved to a private room right now but a nurse can show you up." He said before hurrying out the room leaving everyone in a stunned silence.

Haley looked up and met Nathan's eyes, he looked exactly how she felt. Lost and confused. Karen closed her eyes and steadied herself before looking around the room, tears clouding her eyes.

"Did…did any of you know about this?" She asked quietly, looking around and the white-faced teenagers. Nathan, Peyton and Brooke shook their heads whilst Haley felt tears tracking down her face, she began to shake her whole body trembling as she began to sob.

"I did." She whispered shakily as the sobs came harder and faster, she sank into a nearby chair and rested a head in her hands as she let the sobs overtake her. Nathan stared at her his heart pounding as a lump formed painfully in his throat. He couldn't believe this was happening…

Karen watched as Haley dissolved into sobs and looked away her eyes burning. So Lucas had told her and not his mom. Why had he lied to her? Did he think he couldn't tell her? Dan was paying for his medication…then he stopped, he had left Lucas to pay by himself…her son could have died because of him. She forced the anger down, she needed to be there for her son right now. He came first. She walked slowly towards Haley and rested a hand on her shoulder. Haley looked up with bloodshot eyes and a tear-stained face.

"We can talk about this later okay, but first we should go and see Luke." She said softly.

Haley nodded tears falling from her eyes as she got shakily to her feet, she glanced across at Nathan before following Karen out of the room.

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A/N Sorry it was short but hopefully it was ok! Please tell me what you think and read and review!

Next Time: Everyone visists Lucas and he tries to explain himself but will ppl listen? Nathan confronts Dan


	4. You'll be okay

A/N Sorry for the long wait for an update, I'm so incredibly busy with stuff at the moment I think my head may explode but anyway, thanks for the reviews and I hope you like this. Things will speed up soon don't you worry. Please review

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Karen stared down at her son's still sleeping form and felt hot tears track down her cheeks, she chewed on her bottom lip in a futile attempt to hold back the steadily flowing tears but it was no use, they just kept on coming. She couldn't believe this was happening, she couldn't handle this. They had been through enough and now this? He was just a kid, he shouldn't have to deal with an illness like this. It just wasn't fair. She edged nearer the bed her legs feeling like jelly as she eased herself into the chair that was set beside the bed. She traced her eyes over his face, he was slightly pale but he looked peaceful. She let a strangled sob escape her before she broke down, taking Luke's hand in hers she began to shake, trembling with each sob that wracked her chest.

"Oh Luke…why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?" She asked squeezing her son's hand gently as he slept, the machines around him beating steadily and his chest rising and falling steadily. She closed her eyes trying to fight the oncoming tears and she sighed shakily when she felt Luke's hand shift in hers. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up looking down at him her heart racing with anticipation.

"Lucas? Luke honey can you hear me? Squeeze my hand again if you can hear me." She said softly, leaning over him as his head shifted slightly. She felt his hand grasp hers weakly and relief washed over her as a smile creepy across her face, the blackened mascara filled tears still falling. She watched as Lucas' eyes fluttered slowly open before falling closed again lethargically. He let out a small groan before forcing his eyes open again and looking around rapidly, trying to focus in on the voice calling his name. His crystal blue eyes settled on his mother's face and a smile spread across her face.

"Oh Luke sweetie…" She said her voice cracking as she kissed his forehead. She watched as Luke's expression changed and tears filled his eyes,

"Mom I'm so sorry." He whispered weakly his voice breaking as his vision blurred, he was exhausted. Every limb felt like lead and just blinking was an effort. He wished he had just told his mom in the first place. Then maybe he wouldn't be here right now…he felt her stroking his hair softly and shushing him.

"It's okay honey…it's okay. As long as you're okay, we can always talk about this later." She said softly trying to comfort him as he settled back blinking quickly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you…I, I knew we couldn't afford the pills and Dan offered to pay…I didn't want you to worry about me or treat me differently. Then after I moved out from Dan's he stopped paying for my medication and I couldn't afford it…I was going to tell you then but then you go into that whole mayor thing and I didn't want to stop you from doing what you wanted…I'm sorry mom." He said his vision blurred by tears that he struggled to hold back. He could feel himself trembling as his mother began to cry.

"Oh Luke honey…It's okay, it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you're okay. I thought I was gonna lose you when you fell I…I was so scared. Money doesn't matter, we will get you through this. I'm here for you." She said squeezing his hands and wiping a solitary tear that had fallen and was resting on his cheek. He smiled slightly. He felt better knowing his mom wasn't furious with him but he still felt terrible, he could barely remember what actually happened. All he remembered was dribbling up the court…then everything was a blank.

"What happened?" He asked in a small voice as Karen sighed and swallowed getting up and sitting on the edge of her son's bed.

"You collapsed at the game sweetie. Half the team are in the waiting room. Brooke, Peyton, Haley and Nathan are waiting outside I think." She said. Lucas started slightly, swallowing hard.

"Nathan?" He said disbelievingly. Karen smiled slightly

"I know you two haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye lately but he's still your brother and he's worried about you, everybody is." She said softly as Lucas sighed.

"Brooke's out there too?" He said slightly bitterly. Karen nodded and Lucas closed his eyes.

"Anyway If I don't let Haley come and see you now I think she might wear a hole in the floor outside the door. " She said with a smile. Lucas smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Mom." He said as she stood up. She turned around and smiled giving him a hug.

"I love you Luke but if you ever do something like this again…you'll be grounded until you're 40."

Luke smiled as his mom left the room shutting the door, giving him a few seconds to himself before Haley shot into the room and practically threw herself at Lucas, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly, knocking the wind out of him in the process

"Uh hey Hales." He said weakly as she pulled away her brown eyes shining with tears.

"Oh Luke, don't ever do that to me again. I was so scared. Are you okay?" She asked looking at him as he leant back against his pillows.

"I'm sorry Hales, I feel okay I guess…just exhausted." He said stifling a yawn, Haley smiled sadly before promptly bursting into tears causing Lucas to start slightly, sitting up and looking at Haley in bewilderment.

"Haley what's wrong? Haley?" He asked tilting her face up to his as she wiped her eyes hurriedly her hands shaking. She flushed slightly.

"I'm just being stupid…" She said embarrassedly, as Lucas took her hand and looked into her watering brown eyes.

"Hey…what is it?" He asked softly as she sniffed and swallowed hard drawing her gaze back up to meet his.

"It's just…I thought I was gonna lose you. And I kept thinking about how I let you down so much by leaving and how much time I had wasted. You're my best friend Luke and I thought I was going to lose you and I was so scared. I was so scared Luke…" She said her voice cracking as she buried herself in Lucas' arms. Luke wrapped his arms around her, feeling her trembling in his grip he swallowed hard realising how much he had hurt everyone around him by keeping this a secret.

"It's okay Haley, I'm here…I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry, now my mom knows maybe I'll be able to keep up with the medication…doesn't look like I'll be playing basketball anymore though does it?" He said sadly. Haley rested her head on his shoulder.

"Hey I'm sure you can work something out. I know how much you love basketball but you are more important. If I don't have you who else will I throw milk balloons at or play crazy golf on the roof with?" She said with a smile. Lucas smiled sadly.

"Thanks Hales, for being there for me. Thanks for not telling my mom, it was something I had to do myself you know?" He said looking up at her, she nodded and swallowed hard.

"Yeah I know Luke. I'm just glad you're okay, did Karen tell you anything about the Doctor?" She asked frowning.

"No, she said he'd be coming in soon though." He said miserably.

There was a long silence filled by the steady beating of Luke's monitor as he felt his eyelids growing heavier.

"Brooke's outside." Haley said quietly causing Luke to open his eyes, swallowing hard and looking down at his hands.

"What am I supposed to say to her Hales? I just don't know what to feel…I love her but how can things be okay after what she did? Every time someone even mentions her name I just see her with Chris. " He said sadly. Haley sighed.

"She does love you Luke, I know she does. People make mistakes, I've made too many this year and you forgave me. She forgave you and Peyton." She said knowingly as Lucas sighed growing more and more tired.

"You're right but…it's hard." He said inbetween a yawn as his eyelids slid closed.

"I know Luke, I'll let you sleep okay…I'm glad you're okay." She whispered but Lucas' breathing had deepened and he was already asleep by the time she left the room.

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A/n I hoped you liked it, if you did tell me, if you didn;t tell me. REVIEW pretty please

Next Time: Nathan and Lucas talk and Brooke apologises to Lucas whilst Luke must decide whether or not to have surgery


	5. I just need you to understand

I know it's been a horrifically long time since I last updated and all I can do is apologise and offer this chapter as a peace offering if anyone is still reading. I have warned you before that I never usually write Brucas seeing as I'm a Leytoner but I've tried my best and hopefully this will satisfy you. Please leave a review!

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Brooke leant against the wall and swallowed hard, blinking tears from her eyes as she willed herself not to cry. Everything was so messed up, she loved Luke, she loved him so much but she had screwed everything up. He was the only guy she could truly be herself around, he was the only guy who accepted her for who she really was and she didn't have to pretend with him, she didn't have to be the bitchy popular cheerleader, she could be Brooke Davis. She just needed him to understand how much she regretted that night, how everyday she wished she could take it back.

When she had seen him collapse she could have sworn her heart stopped, it was like her whole world was crashing down around her. She was just so scared that she would lose him, that she would never be able to tell him how much she loved him and that she hadn't meant for that night to happen how afterwards she cried for hours over him, wishing she could just be in his arms again. She just wanted him to forgive her, for him to love her like he used to and for them to be together again.

As the door to his room opened she straightened up wiping her eyes as Haley emerged, her face tear-stained and her eyes red. They met gazes and Haley shot her a weak smile and Brooke tried and failed to give one back. She could see the sympathy in Haley's eyes and she swallowed hard as Haley walked over, sniffing and struggling to hide the tell-tale signs that she had been crying.

"How is he?" Brooke asked softly, her voice trembling. Haley sighed and looked up at her best friend, she just wished that her and Luke would sort things out…she knew they were meant to be together and she knew how much Brooke loved Luke.

"He's sleeping…I spoke to him about you?" She said causing Brooke to look up quickly.

"I know he wants to make things right Brooke, he knows it too but…he just thinks it's going to be too hard. I know he loves you Brooke, so you have a chance." She said softly and Brooke felt a ghost of a smile tug at the corners of her lips…She had a chance, a chance was all she needed.

"Speaking of chances, I think I'm going to go and take one with Nathan and talk to him…" She said taking a deep breath. Brooke smiled and pulled her friend into a quick hug.

"It'll be okay tutorwife." Brooke said as they drew away and Haley smiled weakly.

"I hope so…good luck." She said knowing Brooke was about to see Lucas, even if he was asleep this would still be a step for her…she had mustered the courage to at least face him…Well sort of anyway.

Brooke watched as Haley walked across the room to where Nathan was sat and she sighed to herself, turning back to face the door. She walked slowly forward, looking around almost frightened that someone was going to forbid her from going in there because of what she had done.

She could feel her heart pounding faster and faster as she drew closer. What was she so scared of? He would be asleep, she'd have nothing to worry about. She could just go in there and just sit there for a while and then maybe just go again. She just had to see him, to see with her own two eyes that he was okay…Well she knew he wasn't _okay_, he had a heart condition, which he had kept from her. That was just as bad as Chris, it had been going on longer and he had lied to her face.

Shutup! She told herself as she stood outside the door, her heartbeat echoing noisily in her ears as she reached forward, feeling the cool metal of the doorhandle under her clammy hands. She pulled and the door opened, holding her breath she stepped in…

XxxxxX

Nathan looked up from the spot on the floor he was staring at when he saw a familiar pair of feet in front of him. He sighed and looked up, meeting her big brown eyes.

"Hey." She said softly. He swallowed and simply nodded, not trusting his voice. She stood there in silence for a few seconds before sitting down in the empty seat next to him. They sat there for a few seconds more of uncomfortable silence when finally he broke it, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead but still talking to her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked and she immediately knew what he was talking about. She looked down at her hands and sighed softly.

"I couldn't, he made me promise me not to. He didn't even want to tell me. He made me promise." She said quietly not wanting everyone else to hear their conversation. Nathan looked down at the floor again.

"You weren't talking to me when he told me anyway." She mumbled causing Nathan to look up.

"Don't bring us into this Haley; this isn't about us it's about Lucas. He could have died!" He said angrily, Haley flinched slightly and swallowed hard.

"Don't you think I know that? He's my best friend Nathan, he made me swear and I couldn't break my promise to him. I know he was stupid not telling anyone and I know I was stupid but I couldn't go back on my word. Don't you think I tried to get him to tell someone?" She said her voice rising causing people to turn around, she felt hot tears pricking all of a sudden.

"And anyway you can't say you were looking after his best interests. Funny now how you're sticking up for him when earlier today you were intent on making his life a misery." She added her eyes shining with tears. Nathan looked up angrily, noting the tears in her eyes he felt a slight pang of guilt; he hated seeing her cry but he was too angry.

"Look I'm not having this conversation with you okay Haley? I'm here to see Luke so can we just leave us alone for now?" He said as she blinked quickly, trying and failing to erase the tears from her eyes.

"Oh don't worry you're leaving "us" alone enough for the both of us." She said softly before walking out and down the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks

XxxxX

Brooke stared down at him and let out a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. She swallowed hard, her hands trembling as she shut the door behind her. Tears glistened in her hazel eyes as she looked down at his sleeping form, watching the spidery green lines rise and fall with steady beeps on the monitor beside him, her gaze travelling over the various tubes and wires warily.

It felt like her heart was trapped in her throat as she walked slowly forward closer to the bed. She dropped unsteadily down into the chair at the bedside and blinked quickly as she looked into his sleeping face.

"Hey." She whispered her voice wavering slightly. She received no response and closed her eyes for a long time, forcing back the tears before opening them slowly again.

"I…I know you're like asleep or unconscious or whatever but…I just needed to talk to you, or to talk at you but…anyway you've got me rambling so I just need to say this and get this off my chest." She babbled, taking his hand gently in hers and rubbing it softly. The silence she received back in return was oddly comforting as she willed herself to go on, she needed to do this…for herself.

"Everything that happened…it was just this huge mistake. I know you wouldn't want to hear excuses because there are none for what I did. It was stupid. You'd think that the thing I regret the most is the fact it was Chris Keller but it's not, it's the fact that it wasn't you." She said softly tears welling in her eyes.

"I love you so much Luke and there hasn't been a day gone by since it happened that I wasn't wishing I could take it back, wishing that I just had the courage to just talk to you. I've been scared of getting hurt again but I just love you so much and I just wish that all of this would disappear so I could just be with you. I know you lied about your heart and I betrayed you…so much has happened but it doesn't mean I don't think we still don't have a chance."

"I love you Luke and I just need you to understand…I'm sorry." She whispered tears streaming down her cheeks rapidly as she began to sob. She just wanted him to hold her in his arms and tell her it was okay, she wanted to look into his eyes and feel that spark they shared, she wanted him, but she had screwed it all up.

"I'm sorry." She choked looking into his face before standing up rapidly, the chair scraping against the floor as she hurried out of the room, choking back sobs as she ran…

Lucas slowly opened his eyes and found the room empty, he felt his eyes burning with tears as he swallowed and looked up at the ceiling…he had heard every word and he needed her to know that he felt the same. That he loved her too…

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A/N I know it was short but Brucas is hard to write, I'm used to Leyton but I wrote this as a Brucas for everyone who voted. Please leave a review and I hope you liked it…more drama to come 


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